Struggle with Professional Challenges New York City

Forming Deeper Connections

By George Marino, CPC, CMMT April 30, 2020

Forming Deeper ConnectionsWe each have our own ideas and viewpoints about connection, whether that is with another person, environment, True Self, God, life partner, friend, family, client, work colleague, a stranger, an animal or object. Mindfulness is a practice that helps us establish a connection. Taking it a step further, mindfulness is a portal to a deeper form of connection that takes us beyond our identity to a sense of I Am-ness, an abiding Presence without name or form. This Presence is not something we can believe in and sustain though a mental position, rather we can become familiar with it in the present moment, mindfully through practice. What a liberation that is! We can let go of our rigid mental positions and abide in something so fundamental and simple as our true nature. (And yet, mindfulness as a way of Being is not taught formally in most schools or practiced in most boardrooms.)

Within each of us is an instinct to connect, and in a certain sense, the disconnection we are experiencing today while social distancing is an invitation to another form of connection. When we disconnect from something or someone, we then can connect to a quiet or stillness within and go even deeper.

So, what does your life look like? What is truly important to you?

Most of us will in one way or another say connection is the most important. If not, then look closely at your actions throughout the day and you will notice that most of the time your life is all about connection even though most of us don’t realize that connection from moment to moment is what we really want. We are in harmony when the body is connected to the mind. When this happens we sense a rhythm to our daily activities. Needless to say, spirituality is all about connection.

There is a famous story and teaching about connection with Martha, Mary and Jesus. Martha is older and has lived life well and wise which enabled her to move about and serve her precious guest. She is connected. Mary is her younger sister whose soul is seized by goodness and has an inexpressible desire and longing, but she does not know why. Her connection with Jesus brings her sweet consolation and bliss which came directly from the words of Jesus. She is connected. Martha has a mature connection as she has practiced long and well. Mary is young and eager to learn and has connected to something within that will not die. Both are connected internally and externally.

The story of connection runs throughout our lives both spiritually and worldly. We form a connection with the Source. We also form connections with money, career, and self-image and power because we think that if we get what we want, it will make us feel better. If we look closely at our worldly connections we see that the notion of connection happens continuously, although we are unaware of this mainly due to our unconscious conditioning. Some connections are unhealthy such as wanting control, sense of entitlement, need to be right, feelings of superiority or lacking empathy.

We know when we have a true connection to our essential being when the messy grasping and attachments weaken. This doesn’t happen because we make up our minds to get rid of all material possessions or our rigid mental positions, but rather we begin to see through the endless wanting of the conditioned self. We begin to form a connection to something more essential. We begin to look at spirit through the lens of connection rather than through our thinking minds. As we move into a deeper stage of consciousness, we begin to grow up.

Connection first begins with a felt sense of things in the present moment. Sometimes we may be incorrect and miss the mark, but with practice we will make fewer mistakes. It does take practice, as referenced in the question, “How do you get to Carnegie Hall?” The answer: “With practice!” Or, as legendary basketball coach John Wooden put it, “Teaching players during practice was what coaching was all about to me.” My coaching is all about “practice” in a shared open space of connection, equality, trust and feedback. If you are seeking more authentic connections in your personal or professional life and deeper meaning and purpose, a transformational coach can help you on the journey. Schedule your introductory online session today.

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