Struggle with Professional Challenges New York City

Kindness Is ContagiousKindness Is Contagious

By George Marino CPC, CMMT

Did you ever try to be humble?

You may have found that to be difficult, because being humble is not something we do, rather it is something either we are or we are not. The act of being humble is inseparable from the present moment. I would suggest being humble is the virtue of virtues. We can’t think about becoming humble, just like we can’t think about the present moment. To do so is just a concept in the mind. We tap into wisdom when we are humble and say and do things that are not planned which gives rise to authenticity.

Did you ever try to tell someone you are thankful to them because you are a “thankful, kind and grateful person”?

Of course not, to do so would be arrogant and would clearly show inauthenticity. Try to imagine a situation where humility may have been warranted, perhaps someone helped you and you wanted to offer thanks and gratefulness to that person, or you may just wanted to reach closure in a relationship due to some misunderstanding or conflict. Sometimes we feel uncomfortable to meet someone in person and offer an authentic thankfulness or at least have a conversation about a relationship that is coming to an end. In this type of situation, for some it means moving out of a comfort zone. I would suggest that the feeling of uncomfortableness makes it even more vital to take the risk; after all, we are talking about two people who have been together in some type of relationship for a period of time. Today, the sending of a text or e-mail simply does not convey the full impact and breath of inherit feelings and meaning surrounding many situations. Modern science and the great ancient wisdom traditions offer validation that a face to face meeting offering thankfulness and/or reaching a closure in a relationship offers the best opportunity for well-being and an inner shift for both people in the conversation.

In my coaching practice and in personal life and accounting practice, I often meet people outside of the office for a cup of coffee when the relationship is coming to an end. There is a world of difference hearing and seeing someone directly, noticing the body language, tone of voice, facial expressions in expressing thanks and reaching a conclusion at the end of a relationship. I have done this many times in my life since I was a child, even when there was a conflict or some hurt. I would thank the person face to face for being there for me or the countless other ways people help each other. These exchanges sometimes are life changing. There should be an actual verbal exchange and dialogue about the relationship being as specific as possible. Just showing up and having coffee will not foster any real change in sentiment between the people involved in the meeting. Of course, if a face to face meeting is not possible due to distance or sickness then another convenient form of communication such as a phone call is the next best method.

What is there to lose in showing real authentic kindness, thankfulness and gratefulness to someone in person?

(Maybe some ego).

Are you struggling to meet someone and express your feelings at work, relationship, or personal life?

I can offer guidance and coaching on how best to work on these and other related issues in your personal and professional life. Let’s get connected and build a life that you love!

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