Cultivating Emotional Intelligence

Being Positive by Choosing to Let Go

Being Positive by Choosing to Let GoBy George Marino, CPC, CMMT November 8, 2021

Meditation is about choosing to let go. Letting go is an aspect of being positive. As we perform our daily work, how often do we let go? How do you go about letting go? Letting go is a habit that can be developed; it is an aspect of mindfulness. Letting go is not a mental activity but rather being present at a higher energy vibration. What are some reasons you may want to let go in connection to your goals at a certain juncture? First, you don’t want to feel the pain, and you certainly don’t want unnecessary suffering. The challenging moments are a sign to pause, look within, feel into your body, and quietly discern your next steps. After all, Hafiz the beloved poet reminds us “Fear is the cheapest room at the Inn.” In letting go you are going for an upgrade!

Let’s take a simple example of cleaning up your e-mail inbox. You start to feel frustrated and want to get this work over as quickly as possible. You feel it is meaningless. Your intention is to get more organized; however, you start to dismiss the project as fruitless. Feeling some anger, you pause and go within as you sense and recognize your deep value for freedom of expression. With discernment, you realize that your task of cleaning up your e-mail inbox is another form of your expression for freedom: freedom from clutter. You have let go of the inner critic for the moment to focus on your needs and values.

When you are mindful, suffering is not part of your vocabulary. Of course, painful things will still happen, but there is a tendency to experience much less psychological suffering. How so? We let go of internally complaining when things don’t go our way as we work toward our goals. We do not bewail our losses. As an example, one of your largest clients is taken over in a merger that results in the loss of a relationship as well as your fee. You knew this was coming for well over a year. What is your state of consciousness during this period? Were you worried? Were you able to maintain your objectivity when consulted on the merger? How does it feel to “lose” the client? Can you let go? If your mental and emotional activity includes some form of bitterness, discouragement, or resentment, you probably have not let go.

Mindfulness can help you look at your thoughts and emotions as you take a step back and become aware of your internal state. You may find an unexpected feeling of gratitude for the good that this client has brought you, which has helped you reach your goal in some way. You may also find that your schedule has new openings to do some creative pursuits that perhaps you may have postponed while you were busy handling this large client. Whatever the case, you are staying positive by letting go. That is true meditation.

I help people unlock their true and deep goals through a coaching partnership based in mindful awareness and compassion.